Thello - it was worth trying, but I won't be trying it again

NB - there are no photos with this post, the wi-fi at the hotel is to slow to use photos, so you will have to wait until tomorrow to see what you read below:

Travelling from Paris to Milan overnight was one of the risks of the holiday. And while I am glad I gave it a try it won't be on my list if I come this way again.

We got to Gare de Lyon at 6.30 for a 7.45 p.m. train. Hall 1, the long distance part of the station, was full. Made fuller by the fact that half of it got blocked off by police and some troops. It turned out they had a suspect package and had a controlled explosion to get rid of it. The only impact of the controlled explosion was the fast exit of the pigeons from the station.

Once this was over we were able to get seats which was useful as the train was 40 minutes late.

Still it did arrive and we went to car 93 and to our room, seats 62 and 66. Which was a private cabin (though I'm told you shouldn't call a train compartment a cabin, cabins are on boats. At 8.30 the train left.

The cabin was pleasant and made a comfortable space to sit and read and watch France go by. The car attendant came and collected our passports (we sleep our way across the border). He told us we could go down to Car 90 for dinner so we headed off.

As I mentioned in an earlier post one of the most influential sources of advice on planning this holiday was The man in Seat 61. His advice on direct booking with TrenItalia, SNCF and RENFE was invaluable - many thanks, but things have changed in the dining car on Thello since he last travelled, the page could do with an update.

Instead of the crockery and stainless steel of the Seat 61 photos there was plastic knives and forks and paper bowls and plates. The food to was bland and almost free from taste. The only entertaining part was the random behaviour of the waiters and their amazing balancing abilities against all the odds.

The train had a tendency to judder and jerk making anyone on their feet walk like astronauts do when walking on the moon.

For dinner we had 'organic vegetable soup'. It was green and with copious amounts of pepper barely edible. The bread roll served with it was much nicer than the soup. For mains Drew opted for pasta of the day; it was penne ragu which came with a plastic bag of grated parmesan. Drew's view was it was out of a tin or freeze dried. It certainly hadn't kept its taste. I opted for Chicken in mushroom sauce which came with mashed potatoes. The potatoes were lumpy and gooey and reminded me of the reason I gave up having school dinners in my early teens. The mushroom sauce was warm but the chicken was freezing. I guess it had been cooked earlier and someone had forgotten to microwave it before pouring on the sauce. The food so far was so poor that the unbelievable happened  - Drew decided not to try dessert!!

We went back to the cabin and the attendant (Steffan) made up our beds. He promised to wake us an hour before we arrived in Milan, more of that later!

As Drew is afraid of heights I got the top bunk and Drew was below. With a bit of contortion we managed to get undressed and into bed. There was no rail alongside the top bunk so I was careful to lie far away from the open side to avoid falling out. Being so close to the wall I managed to bang my head or my arm 8 or 9 times during the night.

Drew slept well, or seemed to, while I hovered on the edge of sleep and wakefulness. So I saw us stop and take on passengers in Dijon, yes of the mustard fame, and stop for short periods at two other stations whose name I could not read.  At 3.15 we arrived at Bardonaccia, just over the Italian border and waited there for an hour and 15 minutes before going forward. I assume this was where the passport and customs check take place?

By 5.00, as I have been all holiday, I was wide awake, this time it was a bonus. I climes down the stairs managed to wash my hands and face and shave (a pity Drew was asleep as this was an amusing moment, the trains motion not being conducive to putting sharp metal on your face.)

Drew woke as I finished this and I was able to access my case and get my new clothes out and dress. As I did I saw the suburbs of a large town. Unsure where we were I visited the WC and on return Drew had dressed and we saw we were arriving in Milan Central!! The early morning call had not happened so it was the chance of my poor sleeping that meant we weren't still on the train in Bresia or Venice!  Things were about to get worse we went to the door of the carriage and the lady who was now our attendant was there. I asked for our passports and she said "I gave them to the lady this morning when I looked the door."

I explained that there was no lady we were two men travelling together. She then had a look of shock asked me for my seat numbers again, checked the cabin we had just left. Then started knocking every door asking if she had handed over a passport. After the 9th or 10th door she awoke a weary French lady who said she had had her passport returned, but on checking discovered they were Drew and mine.

Imagine the stress I felt when she was rushing about unsure how she lost them. I was thinking about where the nearest British consulate was, how I was going to get something sorted when due to move on in just over 24 hours. So stress and panic, but thankfully we have them safe and sound and were able to leave the platform and go into Milan central for the start of our new day